Children love their parents equally and whatever the reasons for a husband and wife to want to end their marriage and go their separate ways, it can not be forgotten how this will impact and affect the children.
Children are hardly ever to blame for a marriage failing. And often they are the innocent victims who lives are completely changed because their parents have decided to split up.
If a marriage is ending because a one of the couple has been unfaithful, the children had no part in this and yet are expected to take sides and willingly accept that their parents will no longer be living together and that the family unit has broken up. Add to this the unimaginable thought of the children having to live with one parent and seeing the other parent on alternate weekends, and you can see how this would badly affect most children especially those who are very small and don't understand what is going on around them.
Many parents fail to appreciate and understand that their children continue to be affected by this family breakup for many years to come.
Sometimes the effects of divorce on children are not evident until these children grow up and then find they have problems when forming their own relationships. Perhaps they feel they cannot trust or rely on their partner to stay with them and fear that their relationship will end up the same way that their parents' relationship did.
Whilst the husband and wife have adapted to being separate, and possibly might have met other partners as time goes on, children still cling on to the hope that their parents might one day get back together again.
They don't want to see a stranger in their father's place or another woman with their father. These things can be disruptive especially for young minds and can cause resentment and loathing in children towards the parent who has wronged as well as to the new partners of both parents.
Studies also show that the effects of divorce on young children tend to lead to lower marks at school, mood swings and disruption in the lives of those children whose parents had divorced.
Sometimes, there is not other solution but to get a divorce. This is very true of cases where there is emotional or physical abuse or an addiction to alcohol or drugs. An environment such as this is detrimental to the well being of anyone and especially children. In these situations, divorce is often necessary is the abuser will not seek help in order to overcome his or her problems.
In other cases though, such as a couple starting to drift apart, or having an affair - whilst these things are not right, they can be corrected and divorce does not always have to be the only solution.
The effects of divorce on children can be devastating and have a profound effect in later years. If you want to know how to save a marriage from divorce because you know that this will be a better outcome for everyone in the end, then visit http://www.affairtherapy.com/ where we offer information and tips on marriage and dealing with affairs.
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