The Effect of Divorce on Young Children

A divorce is a stressful and painful thing to go through for most adults, so one can imagine how a developing child may take the news that their parents will no longer be living together.

Generally kids will not fully comprehend what is going on in the beginning stages of the process, but once they do they may display a wide range of emotions. Some may feel vulnerable knowing that they will not be living with both parents full-time, others may have an overwhelming sadness and blame the divorce on themselves, while many internalize their emotions which could lead to problems later in life.

In fact, a study by the University of Toronto has shown that children from divorced parents are much more likely to have suicidal thoughts after their parents marriage has dissolved. Even more alarming is the fact that men are three times as likely to have these thoughts when compared to women in the same predicament.

This particular study went further to see if this suicidal ideation was a result of parental abuse or addiction, and they found that men were still likely to have increased thoughts of suicide even if abuse and addiction were not present. It should be noted that for women, many suicidal thoughts were directly related to parents who have a history of abuse or addiction, and not strictly divorce.

The reasoning behind this discrepancy is partly due to the fact that many children of divorced parents live with their mother full-time, and this lack of a male role model can wreak havoc on the development of an adolescent boy.

While parents shouldn't panic and assume the worst when they get divorced, it is important to realize that your children are greatly affected by the process and you should focus on explaining things to them as clearly and delicately as possible. Under no circumstance should you convince your child to take sides or make them feel as though one parent is to blame, particularly if they are younger.

Make sure that your children understand what is going on and do not place undue blame onto themselves. Reassure them that everything is going to be all right and set up a support system of family and friends if they need anyone to talk to about the ordeal.

Even though it may be difficult for you and your spouse to agree on much during a divorce, it should be a no-brainer that despite your differences your child must be your number one concern while moving forward into the future. Ensure that you do everything you possibly can to lessen the traumatic impact of the divorce.

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