Creating a Custody Schedule: Five Steps to Be a Supportive Parent to Your Child

I have created five simple steps to help you connect with your child during the divorce/custody process to ease their fear and insecurities. There is nothing fun or easy about getting divorced when a child is involved. Learn how to help them understand and adjust to their new situation.

Tip #1: Make it a top priority to help your child through the situation.

For many children, divorce is very hard on them because they have not fully developed their coping skills like adults have. They also have a high level of anxiety worrying about what is going to happen to them next.

Make sure your child does not blame them self for the divorce. Children frequently blame themselves for a variety of reasons; they see it as a form of punishment for them not to live with both parents, they heard the parents arguing and placed blame on them self, they are used a pawn between parents and lose all self esteem, etc. Talk to your child and assure them the divorce is not their fault.

Let your child know both parents love them. Explain that you are both working together to create a situation where the child can spend quality time with both parents. Finally, let the child know they will still be a huge part of both parents lives.

Tip #2: Let your child know what is going on.

You need to be constantly updating your child on the situation. Explain the divorce in a way that is age appropriate and don't assign blame to anyone. Tell them about the process and what to expect in the future.

There are two important things to consider with this step. First, really think about the age and disposition of your child. They may not need a long discussion about what is happening or they may have a lot of stress/anxiety and need a lot of reassurance. Second, you have to be able to talk to your child in a calm loving manner. There cannot be any hint of blame, anger, or frustration toward the other parent.

Tip #3: Spend quality time with your child.

It is more important than ever for you to take the time out of your life and spend it with your child. Go and participate in some of your favorite activities or try something new. Don't go out once and bombard them with divorce talk. Your goal is to build your relationship as a loving parent and friend. Show them they are important to you- don't just tell them.

Tip #4- Don't force them to talk about how they feel. Let them bring it up to you.

This step varies greatly on the age of your child. If you have a teenager, it will take a lot more work to build trust and get them to open up to you. A younger child might bring it up easily and could respond well to a statement like, "I know the divorce is hard on you and I want you to know I am her to talk or answer any questions you have."

No matter the age of your child, wait for them to be ready to talk about how they feel. Don't have rehearsed answers about the situation. Validate their feeling and concerns and positively respond to their concerns.

Tip #5- Ask for their feedback if appropriate.

Talk to your child about decisions regarding their future. For example, if you and the other parent are working on the parenting plan and have decided on 50/50 physical and joint custody, talk to them about what that means. Then explain the different types of custody schedules for 50/50 physical custody and ask what option they like the best. Honestly listen to your child's thoughts and concerns. This can also apply to other issues like changes in living arrangements, some budget issues, etc.

Remember, to use your judgment. If decisions have to made by the parents and there is no way around certain issues, don't ask for feedback. But explain decisions made to your child in age appropriate terms. Finally, realize some children are just too young to be able to make the best decisions.

You and the other parent need to decide how and what is the best way to ask for your child's feedback.

Conclusion

As a parent, you probably struggled with the decision to move forward, worrying about the effects a divorce will have on your child. You have the power to help them transition in a supportive and loving way.

Erica Larsen is a writer for Custody X Change softare. This software helps those wanting to create a custody/visitation schedule do it easily and effectively. You can create visual calendar of the custody schedule, see the time percentages each parent has, and journal any changes to the plan.

Learn more about the different custody schedule examples and questions to ask yourself before creating a custody schedule.

Original article

Are You Divorced Because Your Marriage Was A Fantasy?

Was you marriage a fantasy or a reality?

Both of you -- right now you are probably reacting that, of course, since your reason to go through the divorce in the first place was because you had to face reality and forget about the fantasy.

Every marriage is a fantasy before the reality kicks in. Whatever fantasy you had is what enabled you to get married in the first place. You thought that your husband or wife was the right person for you. You thought you were the marrying kind of person you knew your spouse to be. You actually thought maybe you wanted the life that each other painted, whatever it might be.

Your ex treated you a certain way during the fantasy period, and that enabled you to fall in love and enabled you to create this fantasy called "marriage," or at least the fantasy called "your marriage."

The reality is that you guys ended up hating each other after a while, really disliking each other, becoming really angry with each other, constantly bickering, fighting,all of that. That's the reality.

So, the question is: are all marriages based on fantasy?

Well, the answer is: kind of. There are many marriages based on reality. There are great marriages out there. There are people out there who have wonderful marriages from the beginning all the way to the end, and they make it work.

But, for the rest of us, we're in this divorce pool of life. I think a lot of us fell in love with the fantasy, and then when reality finally came, we didn't know what to do with it. We didn't know how to make the changes necessary as fantasy slowly started drifting into reality. We didn't know how to make the relationship work, because we did not have the capability to make that relationship work based on our past experiences in all of our past relationship.

Our past relationships will always form who we are today, and if we're able to process our past relationships, we are then able to move forward and have great relationships. Each one better and more positive than the one before. The probably is that most of us don't spend enough time actually processing our past relationships. We tend to sweep all of our issues under the rug. We tend to get involved in another relationship too quickly because we're in the "replacement theory" of relationships, which I've written about. Or, we fall in love with a new fantasy of what we think this new person is and what they're all about.

The problem with that is that we think we're moving forward, but we never really move forward because we haven't fully learned from our past mistakes. The same problem will come up in each relationship, and if these same types of relationships continue through your lifetime, you get more and more frustrated. You get angrier and angrier, and you get more and more bitter.

The unfortunate fact for our society is that most marriages do end in divorce because most marriages were built on a fantasy from the beginning. I know so many people who got married because that's what they were supposed to do, or they always dreamed of finding that perfect partner and being married. They dreamed of having a wonderful family.

They dreamed about that life, but they picked wrong. The reason why they picked wrong is because they picked based on a fantasy they had for themselves and they never listen to the reality that was in front of them. Every relationship that I've ever had that has fallen apart, it has always shown its warning signs in the first 30 days. I just chose to ignore them because of the fantasy I had built up in my head.

If all of you look back on all you relationships, and especially the last one that ended in divorce, the warning signs were probably there in the first 30 days. You chose to ignore them because of the fantasy you were living, because of your desires, and because your wants and your needs required the fantasy called love.

I'm a firm believer that love exists, but it's got to be real love and it's got to be a love that's based on mutual love for each other. You do for each other what the other needs, and you respect one another so that you are able to grow with one another and be each others best friends. Most relationships tend to outgrow one another. Most relationships grow their separate ways.

Once the reality hits, the fantasy tends to be over really quickly.

Author Info:
David Wygant a leading personal dating coach, dating advice professional and image-maker. For 20 years David Wygant has worked to earn the trust of American men looking to transform their love lives. David also has a dedicated women's dating advice site that offers a wealth of free dating information specifically for women.

Original article

Divorced Dads Deserve Better

Twenty years ago, I put together a men's group where eight guys met twice a month to teach each other the lessons of manhood most didn't get from their fathers and to work through the issues that affect our relationships and limit our lives. We wrestled with friendship and trust, intimacy and sexuality, marriage and divorce, parenting and fatherhood, and emerged as better all-around men.

One lingeringly painful experience that several of the men in my group -- including me -- never managed to totally come to terms with, though, is the way we were marginalized and penalized as divorced fathers in the family court system. Comments from many readers of my articles echo the ongoing trauma of similar experiences. In fact, as I write this -- 30 years after my own divorce -- I'm hyperventilating just remembering the anger, frustration, and intense emotional anxiety I went through then.

It takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to destroy it. And, while it's debatable which gender is more responsible for the 50% divorce rate, all that matters to the children is having two parents who love them and can help them cope with the fallout from a broken home. Too often, however, the courts don't view custody cases from this perspective, operating instead from a 1950s paradigm in which fathers were considered breadwinners with little hands-on parental input.

This assumption that women are more capable of raising children than men are makes my blood boil. I raised my oldest son as a single dad from ages one to six in the late 1960s, when there was no daycare and I was just beginning my career after college. What I lacked in parenting skills, I more than made up for with love, nurturing, and a deep desire to be that little boy's hero. I never shirked my responsibility and, for years, had no social life.

Years later, having had temporary custody of my second son for a year, I found myself in family court when he was 10 after learning that he frequently found his mother drunk and passed out on the sofa when he came home from school. I had to hire a lawyer -- which wiped out my savings -- answer insulting and irrelevant questions in depositions, and be accused of being an unfit father -- despite my proven track record -- before finally being awarded full custody. And, despite the emotional and financial pain I endured, I consider myself lucky. The judge refused to pay give credence to opposing depositions and put my son's interests first by taking him into his chambers and talking with him for nearly an hour. He asked my son the only relevant question -- "Do you feel safe with your mother?" -- and ruled to protect him.

My oldest son is an adult now and the father of a young son himself -- in many ways, the dad I wish I'd had. He's gone through his own custody battle and I'm proud he made a stand for his rights with his son. It's agonizing to see him have to suffer the way I did just to protect his rights as a father, though, and my heart goes out to him each time he faces a new legal hurdle.

Few men would argue that they have to help support and raise their children after divorce. But sometimes women take advantage of the family courts for financial gain. To a father whose custody of his children has been limited, providing financial support can feel like marriage without any benefits. While I sympathize with a woman's need for financial support to help her raise the children, I have no sympathy for women who use the courts to destroy the financial lives of their ex-husbands. A failed marriage shouldn't be an opportunity to get even -- for either parent.

If it takes two incomes in today's economy to support an intact family, then it's going to take two incomes to support that family after divorce -- and maybe even more, considering the necessity for two separate homes. In fact, it's very important that children feel they do have two homes -- not a primary home with their mom and a weekend stopover at Dad's place. By giving equal custody to fathers, women would both lighten their financial burden and increase their opportunities to work outside the home. A shared arrangement -- both custodial and financial -- is both fairest for the parents and most advantageous for their children.

Equal physical custody is every divorced father's right, and I support and advocate for every man who struggles to maintain his role as equal parent to his children. And I hope women will realize that this shared parenting is in their children's best interest and will get behind men in this struggle. Read my book to see how guys can support each other -- and women can help -- in making the family court system truly serve justice for all.

For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.

Ken's website, http://www.kensolin.com/ is filled blogs about real life problems.

There's a frank, gritty, 42 minute television pilot about men that will surprise men and women alike.

There's also book excerpts from Ken's new, soon to be published book, Eight Angry Men.

Original article

Things You Should Know for Obtaining Divorce Records

Nowadays, every person has the right to enter and view the divorce records which are authorized by the Freedom of Information Act. There are two kinds of these records and documents, one is licensed and the other is unlicensed. People can also choose to go to the related government administrations or departments in order to obtain these licensed duplicates. As an example, a person have to get in touch with the California Department of Public Health in the event that you need some records of a divorce case which was decreed in California, then you can in the hope of getting the desired records.

When it comes to the related government departments, individuals will normally turn to the Office of Vital Records for some public records such as divorce information. In addition, people will also find a lot of other county agencies which manage these vital public information, such as birth and death information as well as marriage and divorce information. It seems to be a necessity that you have to be aware of the details of the divorce information's filing. Above all, you have to know the exact place where the divorce case was initially dealt with. It is due to the fact that only the Supreme Court or the recorder's office within the county where the divorce happened has the right to provide men and women with licensed duplicates of divorce information. In most situations, such duplicates would involve a lot of relevant decrees or certificates.

What's more, it will be also able to obtain the licensed duplicates of the divorce information from the information providers who will search your desired information for you on the web. The on-line information providers, as an instance, possess huge databases which are linked to enormous resource networks. Thus, you can obtain the records you want from a huge information repository more easily. Generally, there are two diverse choices available for people to gain divorce records on the Internet. One is to employ a commercial information provider which would ask for a fee. The other is to make use of one from those promotional public record sites which would offer you some information with totally no cost. Though both the two kinds of information providers can be found easily on the web and both can provide you with some outcomes, the one with no cost might not completely meet people's needs in some instances. However, the outcomes achieved from the free provider on the Internet will be remarkably useful and informative in case that the records database is maintained by a government administration. Despite the fact that in America no state or county has its own on-line database for maintaining divorce records, most of them previously owned one and you can make use of it. And what one needs to do is only input some basic pieces of information like name, age and living place of the individual who you are checking records on.

As well, you may take the employment of commercial records providers on the web into consideration in case the county you live in does not own any on-line retrieval service for people who desire to obtain some kinds of public records. But as for obtaining licensed duplicates of separation information from your county agencies or departments, you need always to wait patiently due to the fact that it may take quite a long time to deal with your demand for divorce records.

If you want to learn more about divorce records, please visit the divorce records website for you.

Original article

Does Reconciliation Mean We Have To Get Back Together?

The thought of reconciling with your former spouse may be a scary proposition. Many marriages successfully reconcile but it takes a lot of hard work. We will address those who might be interested in restoring the marriage later in the article. The aspect of reconciliation that I want to talk about is not necessarily restoring your marriage, but rather how to be friends with your former spouse. If you have children it will be in their best interest and will take a great deal of pressure off of them if they can see that you are friends. Many divorced people will opt for being friends with their former spouse when they realize there simply is no chance of marital reconciliation. After my divorce I could not have imagined being friends with my ex-wife. If someone had suggested that I should consider being friends with her I would have thought they were crazy! I've since learned that time really does heal old wounds and I can now say we are friends today.

I was counseling a client who was pouring her heart out about how her ex-husband was difficult to talk to. He was always saying unkind things to her and she really wanted nothing to do with him. I told her I understood and asked her what she thought her children were seeing when they looked at her reaction to him. She hesitated then slowly admitted they were seeing her anger and bad attitude. I then asked her how she handled her anger when it came to dealing with her children. Reluctantly, she said she treated them the same way she treated her ex-husband - not very well. Finally I asked the million dollar question, "Do you want your children to be involved in your war with your ex spouse?" "Of course not", she responded. Then she asked a simple question, 'Ok Doc, what should I do?"

I asked her to keep an open mind as I presented the idea of reconciliation and how she and her children would ultimately benefit. I went into great detail how it works and the time frame in which she could expect results. When I was done she just stared at the ceiling. She was deep in thought and asked me to go over the plan again. I explained how reconciliation works and the step-by-step process she would need to go through to make the plan work. I explained that to begin a friendship with her former spouse she would need to begin slowly and learn to communicate again. This step applies to both parties and both need to agree they are willing to work together to create the friendship or in some cases even reconcile the marriage. If the friendship is to grow, the trust issue must be resolved one way or another but always proceed with caution. If your intention is to restore the marriage then at some point the relationship must go to a deeper level beyond just friendship. This is where you must decide that you want to go to the next level, begin dating each other again, or just stay as friends! If you want to restore your marriage and need help, let me know, I can help you with that!

As I have said in many of my articles, often men and women are talked into a divorce. It can be as innocent as a well meaning friend suggesting you see a lawyer for legal advice. That starts the ball rolling and the next thing you know you're in the middle of a divorce. If you're really not sure you want a divorce then consider counseling. Don't get talked into something you will later regret.

Over the years I have had clients tell me that they wished they had never filed for a divorce. The pain it caused and the uncertainty it created made them ask the question "What if I had just waited for complete healing of my marriage? My children would be happy. I would be happy and I would be in my home. I'd be going to the kid's games and having dinner with them". This is the part of divorce you rarely see. It's heartbreaking and pain that never goes away. Some marriages cannot be reconciled and I understand that. The key here is getting your children through it. They should be on your "radar" when it comes to priorities between you and your spouse.

As I looked back at my own divorce I could see the pain I had caused my daughter and my former spouse. I realized I was part of the problem and I knew I shared the responsibility of the broken relationship. In order to have a healthy reconciliation, I realized I needed to do a few things to make that happen. I didn't expect others to fix things for me, so I took my share of the blame and began working on correcting my mistakes. If you are the one who has been wronged I challenge you need to do something very bold and courageous - forgive. If you hold on to the pain you will have a long and very bitter life. I see many bitter people come through my office! They are in ill health, unhappy and very pessimistic. It's obvious they need to forgive but they have to be willing to let go of their anger and move on.

A few years ago I was counseling a man in my office. He wanted to reconcile with his wife but she wanted nothing to do with him. He asked me what he should do. I told him to consider her complaints and if he thought they were legitimate then I suggested he work on those things and clean up his act. He got to work on them and before long his wife saw that he was making an effort to be a better man. That was a step in the right direction. Patience is the key and don't force things. Move slowly then wait and see what happens.

In this series, I will help you examine the process of getting divorced. We'll take a close look at what to expect and will share critical information you need to know. If you or your spouse is considering divorce, prior to making that final, life-changing decision, please call me. I can help you prepare for your divorce.

Are you experiencing a difficult time in your marriage and need help? Is your spouse avoiding talking with you about the problems in your marriage? Are you struggling with the execution and planning of your divorce? Would you like to learn communication tools that are helpful when talking with your spouse about repairing your marriage? In upcoming articles I will answer many of your questions.

Going through a painful divorce can be ugly, fighting to keep a marriage from failing can be exhausting. It takes work either way, that's where I can help you. I have been doing this kind of work for over 25 years. If you need someone to talk to, you can go to my website at http://applicablecoaching.com/ or http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/ for additional information.

Original article

So You Want To Have An Affair?

Have you ever considered having an affair? Have you thought about how you would feel before, during and after the affair? Does the thought of having an affair excite you? Have you convinced yourself that if nobody finds out then nobody gets hurt? Unfortunately the truth of the matter is, many will get hurt. Eventually you will get caught! You, your spouse, your children, family members and your close friends will all suffer the consequences of your affair.

It may seem like fun at first until you realize that you are now someone who sneaks around, is dishonest, and you no longer feel the guilt associated with being an unfaithful spouse. Can you imagine what your children might say to you if they found out that you were cheating on mom or dad? Believe me, the people that I have counseled over the years are dealing with the trust issues with their kids. The cold shoulder, the long stares, and the broken hearts are hard for parents to deal with. No lover will ever convince you that the kids will be ok through your affair.

A few years ago I watched a friend's wife have a secret affair. The kids withdrew from their mother and wanted nothing to do with her. It concerned her that her children didn't want to see her or be near her, but she continued with the affair. Since then she has been married several times and no longer has a relationship with her adult children. Was it worth it? Absolutely not! An affair is usually brief and takes everyone down with it. It leaves no victors, only victims. I have helped several people pick up the pieces of a broken relationship and trust me, it's not fun. The prospect of broken hearts are usually a deterrent for most people; however, some will see this after the damage has been done and it's usually to late.

Having an affair may be exciting for a time but most likely it will be short lived and very painful. If you're considering having an affair and you have no one to talk to you can find help by talking to a counselor or divorce coach. You will learn the process of protecting yourself from the pain and guilt of having an affair. I've wondered over the years how many have been hurt by a spouse having an affair? I'm sure many of you have! The pain will always be there unless you learn how to deal with it.

It's scary to be alone with deep pain when you feel you have no one to turn to. I have been there with the sleepless nights and heartache! I would never wish on anyone! Keep one thing in mind, cheaters usually get caught! Affairs cannot be hidden forever. The best advice I can give you, is to walk away from the affair and work on your marriage.

Going through a painful divorce can be ugly, fighting to keep a marriage from failing can be exhausting. It takes work either way, that's where I can help you. I have been doing this kind of work for over 25 years. If you need someone to talk to, you can go to my website at http://www.applicablecoaching.com/ or http://www.idontwantthisdivorce.com/ for additional information.

Original article

Enough Excuses Already

Why are people getting divorced? And why is it happening more often in today's day and age? In some states, it is extremely easy to get a divorce. In others, they require you to wait a certain amount of time living separate before making a permanent decision. Personally, I wish every state made you wait as well as require you to get counseling. I truly believe that living separately for a period of time would save many marriages. Since there is no waiting period is most states, and the states accept any reason for divorcing, it has become the norm to walk away from your spouse.

After researching divorce for the past year, I have found some interesting facts about why people divorce and how the reasons differ in young marriages and long-term marriages. In general, the most common reasons for divorce, in no particular order, are poor communication, financial problems, lack of commitment, household duties and obligations, infidelity, time spent together, and lack of intimacy. It is fairly easy to decipher which reasons tend to affect the younger marriages. Nowadays, young couples work ridiculously long hours, which makes time together scarce. Financial problems also play a big role in divorce in younger couples due to the fact that they are just starting out with buying a new home, furnishing the home, and starting a family. Poor communication is a factor as well since a couple has not matured together and are still adjusting to living with another person. They tend to make decisions without consulting their partner which can cause very big problems as well.

I've found that in long-term marriages, the number one reason for fighting is due to a lack of communication. This lack of communication, in turn, leads to infidelity, alienation and lack of intimacy. It's clear to see that the lack of communication is the root of all evil, whether it is a young or long-term marriage.

I would like to stay on the topic of communication and what a huge role it plays in a relationship. It is amazing how many marriages could be saved if couples would just LISTEN to each other. Some couples claim to be listening, but what I have witnessed during my sessions with them is that they are not listening at all but waiting to talk. If you are waiting to talk, then it is impossible to absorb what your partner is saying. There is no listening involved. Sadly, I find that both partners are doing the same thing. This is where I stop the conversation and try my 8 Step Program, which seems to be very effective in resolving disputes. But it is not easy. It takes a lot of time and effort to get to a point where you can openly listen to your partner and understand what it is they are trying to express.

I can't emphasize enough how important communication is between partners. All problems stem from lack of communication. Infidelity doesn't just happen. There are reasons why people stray. Being ignored by your spouse and avoiding intimacy may just drive them into the arms of another person. A lack of respect is a very big blow to a man's ego; therefore, they try to find it through someone else. A woman needs to feel loved, but if her husband doesn't tell her that he loves her or doesn't show affection, she may find it with another man. In order to avoid those situations, you need to talk and express your feelings. The fear of doing that for both partners is rejection or criticism. In the past you've tried to express how you feel, but you were put down or ignored, so you found that it was much easier to just keep your thoughts and feelings and anger to yourself. This anger and hurt grows and grows until you stop communicating altogether. And that's when infidelity happens.

We must remember that we are supposed to be able to tell our partners anything. We are to trust and love each other enough to tell them when something is bothering us, and we must do it before it festers and becomes impossible to communicate what we are feeling. There has to be a time where you need to roleplay. It is the only way you can even come close to imagining what your partner is feeling and thinking. And it also gives you a chance to understand where they are coming from. Our egos are so big during a fight that neither partner wants to give in. No one is right or wrong when it comes to feelings. So there's no contest to win. Feelings are valid in both partners and they should be appreciated by both. No one is perfect. Your partner might have faults or habits or tics that you just cannot stand. But do you really think they are doing it on purpose? Your partner may be saying the same thing about you. You might have bad habits, faults or tics that annoy them. Wouldn't you want them to understand that you are not doing things on purpose to make them mad? You both should be accepting each other for who you are. Why would you want a spouse who is exactly like you? You will never find a perfect match. You were attracted to your spouse for who they are, not because you thought they were exactly like you. Change is very hard. We are who we are. If you are with someone thinking you will change them, or you go into a marriage thinking you will change them once you get married, you are in for a big surprise. It won't happen. So either accept them for face value, or find a way to get help for yourself because your ego has gone into overdrive.

My suggestion is to stop making excuses. Any problem can be solved with communication and compromise. Take my advice, which comes from first hand experience, if you are contemplating a divorce, take time to think about it. Separate for a short time if you need and seek guidance. Counseling is not for the weak. It is for the smart and strong and dedicated. It is not a weakness to ask for help. It is noble. If you absolutely cannot work out your problems, then seek the options I've written about in this article. Try counseling, positive guidance coaching, or separation before making that FINAL decision of divorce. Don't do something you will regret. Regret is not fun to live with.

I am always available for guidance and help in your marriage or partnership. Please don't hesitate to call and work on the problem immediately before it gets too far out of control and you make a decision you will regret. My goal is to stop divorce one session at a time. A happy and blessed marriage to all of you. Keep fighting. It's worth it!

Blessings, Coach Lisa, CTACC
http://www.lifecoachlisa.com
440-856-3670

Blessings, Coach Lisa
LifeCoachLisa
http://www.lifecoachlisa.com/
440-856-3670

Original article

Divorce Help - Is Mediation The Same As Counseling?

Need divorce help? Then you might want to hire a divorce mediator. But the common question about mediation is this: "Is mediation the same as marriage counseling?" In this article, we'll talk about this and other myths about divorce mediation.

Myth #1 - A Divorce Mediator Will Help You And Your Spouse Get Back Together

This is definitely not true! Getting you and your spouse back together is a counselor's job. A mediator won't counsel you. In fact, mediators will have little interest in what happened between you and your spouse that led you to the decision to get a divorce.

A divorce mediator has one goal, and one goal only -- to make the divorce happen as quickly, easily, and amicably for everyone concerned. That's it! And mediation has done a great job making divorce as painless as possible for couples who go through it.

Myth #2 - A Divorce Mediator Will Cost Extra

This is also untrue. A divorce mediator will only cost you extra if your lawyers (yours and your spouse's) are battling it out at the same time the mediation is going on. Mediation is supposed to replace the traditional method of letting your lawyers work it out for you.

If you leave the lawyers out of the negotiations, and let the mediator handle everything, you'll end up with heaps of savings. Instead of potentially spending a combined $40,000, you'll only be spending $4,000 or less -- that's lower than 10% of what your lawyers may charge you.

Myth #3 - A Divorce Mediator Will Complicate Things

Do you know what REALLY complicates things? Lawyers who do the fighting and negotiating for you. After all, they DO charge by the hour -- and the longer the negotiation process goes, the higher your legal bills go. And when you're out of money, getting over the divorce will be very complicated indeed.

Let your mediator handle the negotiations for you. Mediation is impartial, so you're more likely to arrive at a compromise where everyone concerned is happy. Once you reach an agreement, your mediator will let your lawyers finalize your amicable divorce with the courts.

Myth #4 - A Divorce Mediator Will Side With Your Spouse

As mentioned before, a divorce mediator will be impartial throughout the entire process. Siding with your spouse will only lengthen the procedure, which isn't in anyone's best interests. A good mediator will stay in the middle ground.

As you can see, having someone in the middle will make that elusive amicable divorce happen. And when the separation becomes final (usually after 4-5 months in the courts), chances are pretty good that you'll be leaving your spouse on good terms. And that's good for the kids, too.

Want To Know More?

For more advice and information about the entire device process, visit our website. We'll help you prepare for divorce and the mediation that will make it happen. Don't wait until your legal bills mount -- visit us now!

If you are searching for the legal information about Divorce Process and want to know full details about amicable divorce in an easy way. Here we provide useful legal information about divorce checklist. For more details about Divorce Advice and Divorce Help, please contact us.

Original article

What Happens Without an Effective Parenting Plan?

Separated parents with children must agree to a parenting plan that outlines how they will provide parenting that reflects the best interests of their children. Parenting plans allocate each person's responsibilities, establish a custody schedule and include details about child support. Without an effective plan, a hard situation can become much harder.

While there are good and poor parenting plans, there are many things you can do to ensure that you and the other parent can start this new phase in your lives with the most effective approach possible. With an effective parenting plan in place for everyone to follow, you'll have the best chance of success in raising healthy, well-adjusted children.

Take the time to work out as many details as you can concerning how you and the other parent will provide for and support your children in their journey toward adulthood. While you likely have feelings of pain and hurt when dealing with the other parent, you must put that aside to create a stable and loving environment that allows your children quality time with each of you.

Here are just a few of the pitfalls that may result from a poor parenting plan:
- Your or the other parent are never clear on where the children will be each day
- You or the other parent are often late for pick-ups and drop-offs
- Transitions between homes become tense and tantrum-filled
- Plans are frequently changed, cancelled or postponed
- Children miss out on recreational time with friends or extended family
- Developmentally appropriate activities, like music or sports, are delayed or missed
- Children exhibit signs of increased stress and anxiety
- Vacations and holidays are confusing and unclear
- Children don't get adequate medical care, such as forgetting to take medication
- Routine medical care, such as doctor appointments, is delayed
- Feelings of frustration, anger and depression affect both parents or children
- Performance in school may drop due to stress, fatigue or confusion
- Resentment of parents increases because children feel they are in the middle of power struggles

These are only a few of the reasons why open and honest communication about parenting strategies while separated is critical to the health and wellness of your children. Parenting is difficult enough without including the tremendous stress and emotion wrapped up in divorce.

Many parents find that custody software helps them sort through the most overwhelming issues and lets them proceed logically and clearly. Custody X Change software provides you with a range of parenting plan templates. The software even allows you to print them out, as well as a color coded custody schedule.

An effective parenting plan is so important because it enables you both as separated parents to do your best in instructing, encouraging and guiding your children to do everything they need to in order to become successful adults. When you can agree on custody arrangements, there are likely to be fewer modifications to the plan, resulting in a more stable environment for your children to grow and thrive.

Custody X Change is custody software that provides a wide range of parenting plan templates for those who need to create an effective parenting plan. The software makes it easy for parents to explore different plan ideas and to create successful parenting plans that are age appropriate and meet their children's developmental needs.

Original article

The Court Is Not Required to Consider 'Fault' Or 'Marital Conduct' As Relevant

In determining the distribution of marital assets in a property settlement and /or the granting of spousal maintenance the court is not required to consider 'fault' or 'marital conduct' as relevant factors. However, the court is required to consider any fact or circumstance which, in the opinion of the court, the justice of the case requires that it take into account as long as it is of a broadly financial nature.

Generally, financial losses which have been incurred by the parties or either of them in the course of the marriage will be shared by them (although not necessarily equally). There are two exceptions to this general principle. Firstly, where one party has embarked on a course of conduct designed to reduce or minimise the effective value or worth of the matrimonial assets (including such conduct as deliberately destroying a valuable asset, the wasteful dissipation of assets by a party, or even deliberately or recklessly scaring away investors in the family business thus reducing the effective value of its worth). Secondly, where one party has acted recklessly, negligently or wantonly with matrimonial assets, the overall effect of which has reduced or minimised their value, for example, excessive gambling, spending excessive sums on drugs, alcohol or the downloading of internet pornography.

There is an increasing awareness of domestic violence as an issue in society and with this societal awareness has come recognition by the court. If, for example, a wife has been subjected to constant physical and emotional abuse by the husband to the extent that she is unable to fulfil her employment or has to change careers from a highly paid position (modelling) to a lower paid one (cleaning) as a direct result of the husband's abuse, the conduct can be taken into account by the court as having direct financial consequences. Such a set of circumstances takes into account the financial losses caused during the marriage by the conduct of the husband on the wife as well as possibly creating a higher future needs consideration, particularly as it affects future earning capacity. But the effects of violence are generally more subtle and it may not be that there is an obvious change from modelling to cleaning.

The court will consider the wife's potential to contribute had she not been the subject of abuse. Another example may be where one party's considered contribution as homemaker and parent may be increased where that party has endured domestic violence at the instigation of the other party. The court is required to assess the contribution that each spouse has made to the property over the period of the marriage. A course of violent conduct by one party towards another which makes the other party's contribution more arduous is a fact a trial judge is entitled to take into account. The application of that principle is not limited to domestic violence but can extend to other forms of conduct such as bad business deals, gambling and wasteful destruction of assets. Certain conduct may even be classified as resulting in a negative financial contributions.

Violence in the home is, of itself, an indication of a negative contribution to the welfare of the family and is therefore relevant in the determination of how to adjust property interests following the breakdown of a marriage. The effect of marital conduct in property settlement proceedings can get extremely technical.

We have Family lawyers Canberra, Family lawyers Sydney who can advice you on all family law matters

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Can a Joint Custody Parenting Plan Work for You?

When two people divorce and wish to lead separate lives, it becomes much more complicated when children are involved. Divorcing parents should have the same goal-to be as involved in their children's lives as possible and to provide them with stable, effective parenting. Joint custody is one way to achieve that goal, but can it work for your family?

A joint custody parenting plan has the best chance of success when you and the other parent experience low-conflict communication. Many divorced couples approach communication as a business agreement where they keep emotion out of the conversation. In other words, when you interact with a co-worker, boss or client, you keep things brief, to the point and professional. If you can do this with the other parent, a joint custody parenting plan may work out for your family.

If you and the other parent have similar values and parenting styles, the chances for success with a shared plan increase. When children are exposed to one person's methods, which are completely reversed with the other parent, it can cause confusion, stress and divided loyalty. Your children will benefit from joint custody if you and the other parent see eye to eye on many basic child rearing practices.

Another key issue in making a joint custody parenting plan work is proximity to the other parent. When children have to shuffle between households frequently, it leaves them feeling unsettled, distracted and conflicted. You both can minimize those feelings by remaining in close proximity to each other and to your children's schools and friends. When transitions between homes are smooth and conflict-free, joint custody can benefit children.

Here are 5 questions you and the other parent should ask yourselves in order to determine whether a shared custody plan will be successful:

1. Can I work with the other parent to put my children's needs before our own?

2. Can I handle frequent communication with the other parent without conflict?

3. Can I refrain from negative comments and actions toward the other parent in front of the children?

4. Can I respect the other parent's abilities to parent as he or she believes is best?

5. Can I be flexible with my desires and wants for the sake of the children?

Don't be afraid to answer the questions honestly to assess whether such a plan might be a good fit for your newly formed family dynamics. It's better for everyone involved if you both acknowledge your own parenting strengths and weaknesses and create a workable plan from that.

Ultimately, for any parenting plan to be successful, it requires two committed adults who understand the unique needs of their children. Children do best when there is frequent, caring contact with both of you, and a joint custody parenting plan may be the best way to structure that contact.

Make a joint custody parenting plan and schedule with the Custody X Change parenting plan template. It allows you to search for and create the best shared custody parenting plan to use as a detailed, reliable guide for your newly reorganized family.

Original article

How Do I Choose the Best Custody Schedule for My Child?

You have the opportunity to do what is best for your child when you are trying to choose a custody schedule. The majority of parents are filled with the desire to protect their child from any pain or sadness. Unfortunately, this is not always possible. We have to all learn how to cope with the disappointments and joys of life. Here are eight questions to ask about your child which will help you make the best decision possible.

1. What is the age of my child?

Different ages create their own advantages/disadvantages when choosing a custody schedule. It will be vastly different if you have an infant, school-age child, or teenager. Research your child's age and needs so you have a baseline to start from.

For example, and infant or toddler needs a "home base" while a teenager can easily spend longer periods of time with one parent. School age children like to spend time with both parents and see their support.

2. Does my child have two loving, supportive parents?

I want to encourage you right now to have a positive attitude about the other parent. Maybe they have not always made the best choices, are living somewhere you don't approve of, or you can't look at them without getting angry. Put all of those feelings aside. You need to be able to move forward for your child.

The simple question is this: do they love your child and also want what is best for them? The answer is probably yes. You need to remember they are also the child's parent and deserve time with them. Don't use your child as a game piece against the other parent.

If there has been any type of abuse in the past, this needs to be heavily considered when choosing a schedule. One parent might have sole custody with supervised visitation. Sometimes this is ordered by the court.

A 50/50 schedule might be a great option if both parents are committed to getting along and want to have the child involved in their lives.

3. What custody schedules work best with my child's personality?

Your child has their own unique personality which needs to be considered. For example, can your child handle being moved back and forth from each home multiple times a week or would they do better staying for longer periods.

Does your child need a simple consistent lifestyle that does not cause them any additional stress or anxiety? Does your child like change and can stay on top of all their responsibilities? Also what is your child's relationship with each parent? Would they find it easier to stay more at one home than the other?

There are many different schedule types to meet your needs. You can choose the percentage of time with each parent, how often the child changes homes, when the exchanges happen, etc. Research all the different custody schedule options available to you.

4. Does my child have any special needs that need to be considered?

Each child is special and unique. Every issue should be considered. If your child is struggling or excelling in school, it would be easier if you allowed them to stay in the same school. Does your child have any medical or mental conditions like asthma or ADD? Are they involved in any special activities like league sports or a performing group?

5. What is reasonable in our situation?

There may be times when your unique situation will dictate the custody schedule to use. For example if you are living in different states, past abuse, courts determined the custody schedule, etc. You will need to figure out how to help your child adapt to the custody schedule given. Think about the questions above and how you can support your child.

Erica Larsen is a writer for Custody X Change. Custody X Change is a software designed to make creating a custody schedule easier.

Research the different custody schedule examples and 50/50 custody schedules.

Original article

How Can Communication Help My Marriage?

"Don't you remember I told you that I would be running errands after work today? I told you last week while you were in the shower. You never listen to me", as she scolded her husband!

It's amazing how at times we think someone is listening to us when in reality they are not! Who would want a message delivered to them while taking a shower and how many of us would remember what was said? Think about this: when was the last time you had a heart-to-heart talk with someone that truly communicated back with you? How many of us assume that the one we're talking to really understands what we're thinking or what our next move will be? Many people make those assumptions and I see them in my office everyday!

Today we are going to look at ways to communicate better. How can we get our message across with total understanding? Let's face it; one of the primary reasons for divorce is that couples do not know how to communicate with each other. Lack of effective communication is also a big reason why companies have problems in the work place. As parents we all struggle at times with communicating with our children. It can even happen on the football field and basketball courts at the professional, collegiate, and high school levels.

A few years ago I encountered a married couple that argued with each other throughout the counseling session. Each claimed that the other was not listening as they went back and forth. I watched and listened to this for a few moments then interrupted them by saying, "Whoa, whoa, listen to yourself! You're both talking at the same time and cannot hear what the other is saying." They stopped and looked at each other and laughed. They 'got it' after it was pointed out to them. How can we know what's on our mate's mind and heart if we don't take the time to listen to each other? Lack of communication happens on the football field when one defensive back, gives up a touchdown because of his lack of communication with the other defensive backs on his team!

What are some of the skills we need to learn so we can communicate better? First of all, we need to take time to listen! Next, we need to learn how to verbalize our wants, needs and desires. Fully explain what those are and don't assume the other person understands and knows what you want. Go point-by-point and cover the important issues that will help the other person understand where you are coming from. It's really that simple! Unlike the woman who told her husband she was running errands while he was taking a shower, we need to learn how to communicate at the right time and the right place to avoid a misunderstandings, confusion and arguments.

Do you have a difficult time communicating with others? Do you lack the skills you need to get your point across? Do people misunderstand what you tell them? Has your lack of communication hurt you in your past and current relationships with friends and family?

If you need help in learning the art of communication, try sitting down with some friends and talk to them, let them know your struggles with being able to communicate. The tips that I have suggested will help you.

Going through a painful divorce can be ugly, fighting to keep a marriage from failing can be exhausting. It takes work either way, to end a marriage or save one, that's where I can help you. I have been doing this kind of work for over 25 years. If you need someone to talk to, you can go to my website at applicablecoaching.com or idontwantthisdivorce.com for additional information.

Original article

Consider the Children When You Decide to Divorce

Children are the innocents in a divorce, often aware that there is a bad atmosphere at home, their parents are arguing and unhappy, but often unsure as to what to do about it. Children sometimes wonder if they are to blame for the parental rows. They may wonder if they have been badly behaved, didn't do well at school or in some way caused upset which has resulted in their parents becoming unhappy and arguing.

That is why it's so important to consider the children when you decide to divorce.

- You both continue to be the children's parents after the divorce so committing to maintain a respectful, polite relationship is important. There are always going to be some areas that will require co-parenting after the divorce so remaining civil, if not amicable helps the process continue in the most effective way.

- Tell the children about the divorce together. Young children don't need too much detail, just enough to reassure them that they are not to blame and that their lives will continue similar to before. Children want to know how changes will affect them; their schooling, home and friends are their world. They need to know how those areas will be affected and that they will be able to speak to the absent parent whenever they want to.

- Questions need to be respected. Children may have lots of questions, some of which may well be distressing to their parents. Sometimes they may repeat the same questions, out of anger, frustration, confusion. They may want their parents to reconcile so that life can return to normal. Patience, understanding and honesty are important, as is not giving them false hope.

- Continuity matters to children. Often grandparents can give invaluable support at this time as they are often able to provide a loving, stable environment, whilst being able to see the bigger picture. Grandparents can provide quality childcare, often have the time available and the loving desire to see the children safe and settled. Home surroundings are important too. If there is a need to move home let children have a say in the decor of their new bedroom, keep some familiar things around them, try to maintain contact with friends and family.

- Collaborative law is an area that is becoming increasingly accepted as a more humane way of getting divorced. It requires both parties to agree to keep the divorce out of court and allows for discussion and negotiation to determine the best way to end the marriage. Each party has their own team; a lawyer, counsellor, mediator, financial adviser, as required, to ensure that the split is handled in a fair way. This method keeps the agreements private and allows for less acrimony as each stage is discussed and agreed a step at a time. Matters concerning the children are able to be dealt with together through round the table talks.

Divorce entails two people who used to love each other bringing their marriage to an end. That in itself is distressing enough, but when children are involved it makes the situation more delicate. Even older children can be badly affected when their parents decide to divorce. Young children need extra consideration. Finding the best ways to manage the situation for the children is a crucial part of breaking up with sensitivity.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles are available.

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

Original article

Transformations to the Family Law Act Introduced the Concept of Family Dispute Resolution

The Family Law Act provides a road for the resolution of controversies about the time children will spend with parents and other important people in their lives.

Transformations to the Family Law Act in July 2006 introduced the concept of family dispute resolution. Parties are generally required to attend mediation with a registered family dispute resolution practitioner prior to filing an application in Court, except in certain scenarios.

Following the family dispute resolution process, this specialist will issue what is known a Section 60I Certificate. If you haven't been able to reach agreement with the other parties, you are able to use that Certificate as a "permit" to commence proceedings.

If you wish to go to Court, you'll want to prepare court documents. An "Initiating Application" is a document when you tell the Court what Orders you would want to ask them to make. An "affidavit" is a document when you tell the Court your story and the reason why you would like them to make the Orders you seek. You may need to file affidavits from other witnesses.

Within the court process, you need to attend Court. You might also need to attend meetings with a Family Consultant (previously known as Family Court Counsellor) or other Expert. That Family Consultant or Expert will prepare a Report for the Court to assist the Court in deciding what to do in your matter.

FAMILY LAW ACT 1975 - SECT 11E

Courts to consider seeking advice from family consultants

(1) If, under this Act, a court has the power to:

(a) order a person to attend family counselling or family dispute resolution; or

(b) order a person to participate in a course, program or other service (other than arbitration); or

(c) order a person to attend appointments with a family consultant; or

(d) advise or inform a person about family counselling, family dispute resolution or other courses, programs or services;

the court:

(e) may, before exercising the power, seek the advice of:

(i) if the court is the Family Court or the Federal Magistrates Court--a family consultant nominated by the Chief Executive Officer of that court; or

(ii) if the court is the Family Court of a State--a family consultant of that court; or

(iii) if the court is not mentioned in subparagraph (i) or (ii)--an appropriately qualified person (whether or not an officer of the court);

as to the services appropriate to the needs of the person and the most appropriate provider of those services; and

(f) must, before exercising the power, consider seeking that advice.

(2) If the court seeks advice under subsection (1), the court must inform the person in relation to whom the advice is sought:

(a) whom the court is seeking advice from; and

(b) the nature of the advice the court is seeking.

If needed, your matter may go on to a Final Hearing. In cases like this, you and any other witnesses you have may be asked to attend Court to answer questions about their evidence.

If you have any questions about the process or if you would like any further information contact a family lawyer

We have, Family lawyers Melbourne, Family lawyers Sydney that are always ready to help you instantly.

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Divorce Is In: But Is It Out For Me?

The question always arises as to the conditions in which it is Biblically permissible to divorce. Even among Christians, opinions run the gamut. Scripture is hardly used, partly used or completely taken out of context to all to satisfy opinion. It's safe to say, human beings can justify just about everything--just give us a few minutes!

With so many opinions floating around what can the Christian contemplating divorce rely on? I find 3 scenarios in which one might thinking about divorce might locate him or her self and find a godly solution.

Jesus reminds us of the power of forgiveness in overcoming offense. When that offense is adultery and forgiveness is in short supply divorce can occur, according to Matthew 19:8, and 9.

He (Jesus) said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

In I Corinthians 7:10 and 11, Jesus acknowledges the power of choice, notwithstanding God's command that husbands and wives remain married.

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. (NKJV)

And finally we see the power of forgiveness contrasted with the power of choice. Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:12 and 13,

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband, who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.

And in Verse 15 Paul discusses the flip side:

But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

In Verse 15, we are offered a scenario when Verses 12 and 13 don't work! So let's take a minute to understand these verses. First of all, Paul is addressing the same group of people, addressed in Verses 10 and 11-married people. Therefore, when we read in Verse 12, "But to the rest I say" we should understand that Paul is not addressing a new group of people. Rather, he is speaking to a myriad of other marriage situations that may arise.

Despite what arises in marriage, Paul advises the Christian spouse to respect the decision of the unbelieving husband or wife, whether it is to go or remain. However, the Christian should be careful to inspire adherence to God's will in all. One of the ways this occurs is when we allow an unbelieving spouse to reside with us. This is forgiveness. It is the essence of the cross.

The cross permits God to legally work in the heart of the unbelieving husband or wife. Through the cross of Jesus Christ, God can exchange ill standing for right standing with Him and a believing spouse. As a matter of fact, the cross is so effective in facilitating change that Jesus was not ashamed to identify with us. Isaiah 53:12 says that Jesus counted Himself one of us! Hebrews 2:11 records it this way:

For both He Who sanctifies [making men holy] and those who are sanctified all have one [Father]. For this reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren;

Jesus was willing to endure pain and humiliation to enable God to restore us. (Hebrews 12:2)! God's greatest opportunity to change our spouse occurs when we, like Jesus are willing remain married.

Now I can only imagine the hurt and humiliation for some that would dare remain in residence with an unbelieving spouse. And for this, we have the Lord to thank for I Corinthians 10 and 11. Remaining is a personal choice! When at all possible, it is to everyone's advantage that the Christian remain with an unbelieving spouse. I Corinthians 7:14 reads,

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

When this occurs the unbelieving spouse is cleansed. But also, their children are cleansed! Verse 16 reads,

For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O' husband, whether you will save your wife?

To the moaning believer, perhaps best of all is the benefit of a deepening knowledge of God. Paul encourages us in this manner:

that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, (Philippians 3:10).

Sometimes the best and most sincere efforts of the Christian are rejected. Instead, the unbelieving spouse chooses divorce. Paul advises the Christian to respect his or her decision. This does not imply agreement. Rather, it is love honoring the free will of another.

In accepting the decision of an unbelieving spouse to divorce, Paul writes these words of comfort to the Christian,

But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace (I Corinthians 7:15).

Marriage is what God does. Divorce is what people do in response. Still we see the supreme unconditional love of God shining even in respecting man's free will.

In conclusion then, the Lord commands that husbands and wives remain married. I advocate God's will as being in our best interest. Every Christian should desire to honor God's will in marriage. I do. But also, we must respect a spouse's decision to do otherwise. Herein, I find love.

To learn more about Kim Moore visit: http://www.kimmooreandfriends.com/

Original article

Divorce Advice - 3 Mistakes That Can Make You Miserable

If you need divorce advice, then this article is for you. Many divorcing couples have their lives ruined by the divorce process simply by making these 3 simple mistakes. Read on to find out what these mistakes are, how to avoid them, and how to arrive at that elusive amicable divorce.

Mistake #1 - Expecting It To Be Easy

Some people think divorce will be easy -- after all, they went through marriage first. Well, news flash -- it's NOT easy! In fact, marriage is easy compared to what's waiting for you in the divorce process. It's definitely going to be tough for you, your spouse, and your children.

You'll have arguments with your spouse. You'll be dealing with expensive lawyers -- two of them. You'll be worrying about your kids and how the divorce will affect them. You'll worry about who's getting what, who'll take care of the children, where to move... bottom line is, it's not going to be easy, so don't expect it to be.

Mistake #2 - Expecting It To Be Quick

It's not going to be easy, and it definitely won't be quick, especially if you let your lawyers do all the dirty work. If you and your spouse let your lawyers battle it out for you, you're safely looking at at around 18 months of "negotiations" before you reach a middle ground everyone's happy with.

But the bad thing about such a long divorce process is that it drains your finances like nothing else. Even if the divorce does push through, you and your spouse will be left with less disposable income than you'd like, which makes life after divorce a little harder to get used to.

Mistake #3 - Not Having A Support Group

Thirdly, and this is no mystery, divorce is stressful. And it's a huge mistake not to have a support group to help you get through it. You'll need friends and family to support you during these tough times.

You may also want certain professionals in your support group, such as counselors, pastors, or divorce professionals. And speaking of divorce professionals, let's move on to:

The Solution

Want to avoid these 3 mistakes? Then do yourself a favor and hire a divorce mediator. This divorce professional is impartial and works both with you and your spouse, taking into account the wishes of both sides and working out an agreement.

The divorce mediator's goal is to make your divorce happen as easily, quickly, and stress-freely as possible. Letting one mediator handle the negotiations instead of two lawyers will save you loads of money, leaving both you and your spouse with more disposable income to work with after the divorce is finalized.

Want To Know More About Mediation?

Mediation saves time, money, and stress. It's such a good method that even the courts recommend it. For more information about divorce, mediation, and divorce laws, visit our website. We'll help you prepare for your divorce process with our free divorce advice.

If you are searching for the legal information about Divorce Process and want to know full details about amicable divorce in an easy way. Here we provide useful legal information about divorce checklist. For more details about Divorce Advice and Divorce Help, please contact us.

Original article

Parenting Plan for Young Children: 25 Questions You Must Answer

A good parenting plan for young children allows both parents to have meaningful involvement in their children's lives. Regardless of marital status, each parent can provide valuable contributions to the growth and development of their children. A consistent approach to parenting, as well as a reliable schedule, gives children of any age a sense of security.

While a parenting plan should outline ways for children to keep positive existing routines and relationships, sometimes parents overlook some obvious topics. Here are 20 questions your parenting plan must answer if you want to cover some of the most problematic areas that divorced parents face when it comes to co-parenting.
What staples must be provided for your children at each house, such bed, bedding, clothes, toiletries, medicine and toys?What kind of household rules will be followed at both places, from discipline to chores?When will overnight visits take place, especially for children who are not yet in elementary school?How will you deliver items if something important is left behind, like homework or a musical instrument?How and where will visitation exchanges take place?If one parent is unavailable during that their scheduled time, will the other parent be offered the opportunity to be with the child?Who will determine what school the children attend, and what happens if you both don't agree?Who will do pick-up and drop-off at school?How will you decide on extracurricular activities for your children, who will pay and what happens if you disagree?How will you handle extracurricular activities, especially if they interfere with exchanges or the total time spent with one parent?How will you decide on third-party care, such as day care and who will pay for it?How will your children spend each holiday, including days off from school?How will vacations affect the children's normal routine?What time will holiday and vacation periods begin and end?How much advance notice is required for scheduling vacation times?How will you both share duties for your child's birthday celebrations?How will your child spend the birthdays of each parent?Who is in charge of buying presents for birthday parties your child will attend?Who is responsible for taking care of a sick child who cannot go to school?Who schedules your children's basic medical and dental appointments?Will you notify each other in advance of routine appointments?Will sick children have to go to other parent's house for visitation or for scheduled exchange and if not, how will the time be made up?When will either of you introduce a new relationship to the children and under what circumstances?When will child support payments end, such as whether the child turns 18 or graduates from high schoolWhat steps will take place if you both cannot agree, such as mediation or going to court?

When you and the other parent can work out the answers to these important questions, you are well on your way to creating a parenting plan that works best for your young children and help them feel confident that they have two parents who have their best interests in mind.

Custody X Change is custody software that provides the best parenting plan templates for parents making a parenting plan for young children. The software makes it easy for parents to explore different ideas for all ages, and create parenting plans for babies, parenting plans for toddlers and parenting plans for school-age children.

Original article