If you feel like your marriage is drowned in a tsunami of problems or perhaps you are worried that life could change so hard it shakes your family to share, what is the best way to save your marriage and keeping your family intact? To answer this question, we can take lessons in the history of the survival of a wise man of Japanese.
Eager to return to normal life after an earthquake most of the residents of a Japanese city hastily began to rebuild their homes and their businesses. Their error was they rebuilt in the same locations accurate and made only minor changes to strengthen the Foundation and the structure of their buildings.
A wise man, however, is different. It if is rendered account that if his family was going live close to a line of fault, it had need to be better prepared. First, he joined his family a higher ground. Then, it has strengthened its foundation with equipment that would be flexible and forgiving when the soil is moved. He also made sure that each piece had something solid in it a sturdy piece of furniture. He then instructed his children not to hide under anything but to curl up and lie next to something that could absorb a collapse because it is there, there would be a security pocket. When the earthquake of March hit, his family and the House have survived because they had learned the lessons of their experience of the earthquake earlier.
Now, so who can remove you this history that you can apply to your marriage and the family in these troubling and changing times?
First: Recognize or not your marriage is on a fault.
Just as a rub of continental plates of the Earth against each other and create tensions, where you and your spouse rub each other that create a fault line of tension resulting in fights which shake the foundation of your family? Is the tension between you two on money, sex, different values, children, other family members? Get clear what is exactly rubs you two in the good sense and causes problems.
Second: Agreement to move to higher ground.
Choose to deal with any problem you have from a perspective more spiritual, positive, starting with an attitude of gratitude. Instead of simply noting the problem, acknowledge that things could be worse. Be grateful for what is right or what works or of how far you come.
Higher ground, so metaphorically or literally, gives you a better point of view that allows more creative solutions to appear. When you see your problems to a higher level gives you the space to think before you react. For example, a person who sees their marital faults in a higher perspective of soil is not as likely to run at a divorce attorney to seek safety. They are seeking other alternatives first.
Third: Choose to make forgiveness the major part of the foundation of your marriage.
The wise Japanese father knew that when the Earth is moved, he was required to rebuild with condoning the materials that his house is flexible and able to move when the ground shook. Whenever you can, ask forgiveness to a zone of conflict between you and your spouse. Then, your marriage will be a flexible Foundation (such as the home of man), which can absorb unexpected shocks and remain strong.
Fourth: Do not hide under things to finally do protect you.
You cannot escape and hide under things that finally does defend when things are difficult. In practice this means that when there is tension at home hiding behind a schedule of busy work, parenting, social commitments, volunteering or any other activity that gives you the "perfect" excuse for does not matter with walls that are caving in at home.
There are many examples of people who made a great life outside their home, to see that one day there was no home to return to.
To resist all the stress of conjugal and family life you must have safe pockets retreat, things do you together that absorb the tension. This could mean a regular night for dinner, a movie or dance. Maybe you two love play a sport or you have a hobby that you two. You could participate together in an organization or participate in features of the churches. Everything that supports your relationship and you help to absorb stress when life becomes unstable.
If you prepare for ground shake literally under your feet, or you are preparing for a major change that could threaten your state marital foundations, there are basic principles of survival which, once developed implementation can save your marriage.
Edie Sangiorgio is a wife, mother and step-MOM who has always had a passion for personal growth. In 1980, she received a liberal arts degree and then spent several years in the field of working at jobs in the industry film, law and real estate. In 1986, she married and moved to raise a family its own.
For more information, please visit: http://www.divorcevows.com/
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