Welcome to part 5 of this series of six parties article how to Tony Robbins six basic human needs to reduce the effects of divorce on children. By way of control, in the previous article I shared with you the context of the children who have need of connection or love in divorce. I stressed the importance of separating your own hurt of love lost in marriage and challenged allows you to take the road showing your children that you can still meet your connection piece is critical for your children to stay with their peer groups and feed their stability in their environment. And finally, your own love and affection towards them is essential to maintain the bond that you cherish.
The basic human need fifth, first two needs of mind, is the growth. As a Professional Forester, I have formal education and experience on the natural cycle of the growth of plants. There is a phase foster slow, followed by of a phase of growth fast, is ending par one conical and decline of the phase of maturation. The nightmare of calculating the shape of this cycle is called the sigmoid curve. What I have come to appreciate, is that the sigmoid curve is transferable to almost everything in the life of company relations Directorate. If you have never heard the cliché "you are on a steep learning curve", this is a reference to the sigmoid curve.
Growth is a necessity which does not come with many shades of grey, in fact my mentors told me the following:
If you are not growing, then you die!
Without exceptions to this rule.
I believe absolutely that this and this is why I decided to commit to continuous learning many years ago. We have the feeling that reach us or trying something and growing in our lives. It gives us the purpose of our lives. As for the adults it is expressed in many ways, such as: financial freedom, continuing education or a position of senior to work. That is, the principle is true, that we need to grow to stay alive. Have you ever heard of someone who finished his career and died shortly after? It is not a coincidence.
It is not different for children and divorce. More important, we must recognize that when we are not at our best, as in our divorce, we could be suppressing the growth of our children. It is not uncommon of divorce of the parents to go through the steps of the DABDA of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969. Although Elisabeth is written on the pain over the death, I believe that the divorce has a very similar parallel to die because you lost one you once loved.
If the growth in your children need is not met, they will feel disappointed and unhappy. As a parent, you must be aware of what was going on. Ask yourself the following question, how much of what happens with my children is a reflection of what I'm going through? What will it take to change my thoughts, feelings and actions so that I can grow and be there for my children grow up too?
There is never a time more important for you to be present and favourable to the growth of the needs of your children during the years of education of children of school age. They really are sponges then why not load with positive growth opportunities and give them something to search for. For example, if you have a child who is a bookworm, go to the entire library and find books slightly above their level. It will be an opportunity for them to develop and stretch beyond their comfort zone, but not break. It will also be an opportunity for you to support them in helping them to read. If your child is a sport eczema... Well, the axiom applies. Find a sport they love and to involve them and then interact with them, at any level you can. Perhaps this means make volunteering be their coach, washing the swimsuit team, or between games help you practice and give their and their peers in comments positive on their efforts and that they are correct. Zut, why not have fun and be the parent in the stands which bears the colours of the team with a crazy wig and applauds the height!
A point on the growth and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. It is also famous for quoting "it is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will begin, and then to live each day to the maximum, as if it was the only us had".I think it's wise advice for parents to divorce. It may be the kick the pants necessary to move forward in life and to ensure that you be your best with your divorce so that you are able to focus on the satisfaction of basic human needs of all children after the divorce process.
If you think that you are not your best during your divorce, there are several ways to change. Remember, you are responsible for you. No one else. Thus to find ways to meet your own basic human needs, to share with your friends and family what you are working on and why, or find a mentor or the coach to help you along the way. After all, once you learn how to feed your needs, you are that much more ready to show and teach others and reduce the impact of divorce on children.
When I heard Tony Robbins summarize the six fundamental human needs, he offered that our reason for growth is so that we can give. I totally agree, and it is the focus of my next and final article in this series - the basic human need to contribute.
Do you want to learn more about what you can do to reduce the effects of divorce on children? Garnet Mierau offers a quick and easy evaluation site Web http://helpingchildrenthroughdivorce.com/coaching/
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