You have the opportunity to do what is best for your child when you are trying to choose a custody schedule. The majority of parents are filled with the desire to protect their child from any pain or sadness. Unfortunately, this is not always possible. We have to all learn how to cope with the disappointments and joys of life. Here are eight questions to ask about your child which will help you make the best decision possible.
1. What is the age of my child?
Different ages create their own advantages/disadvantages when choosing a custody schedule. It will be vastly different if you have an infant, school-age child, or teenager. Research your child's age and needs so you have a baseline to start from.
For example, and infant or toddler needs a "home base" while a teenager can easily spend longer periods of time with one parent. School age children like to spend time with both parents and see their support.
2. Does my child have two loving, supportive parents?
I want to encourage you right now to have a positive attitude about the other parent. Maybe they have not always made the best choices, are living somewhere you don't approve of, or you can't look at them without getting angry. Put all of those feelings aside. You need to be able to move forward for your child.
The simple question is this: do they love your child and also want what is best for them? The answer is probably yes. You need to remember they are also the child's parent and deserve time with them. Don't use your child as a game piece against the other parent.
If there has been any type of abuse in the past, this needs to be heavily considered when choosing a schedule. One parent might have sole custody with supervised visitation. Sometimes this is ordered by the court.
A 50/50 schedule might be a great option if both parents are committed to getting along and want to have the child involved in their lives.
3. What custody schedules work best with my child's personality?
Your child has their own unique personality which needs to be considered. For example, can your child handle being moved back and forth from each home multiple times a week or would they do better staying for longer periods.
Does your child need a simple consistent lifestyle that does not cause them any additional stress or anxiety? Does your child like change and can stay on top of all their responsibilities? Also what is your child's relationship with each parent? Would they find it easier to stay more at one home than the other?
There are many different schedule types to meet your needs. You can choose the percentage of time with each parent, how often the child changes homes, when the exchanges happen, etc. Research all the different custody schedule options available to you.
4. Does my child have any special needs that need to be considered?
Each child is special and unique. Every issue should be considered. If your child is struggling or excelling in school, it would be easier if you allowed them to stay in the same school. Does your child have any medical or mental conditions like asthma or ADD? Are they involved in any special activities like league sports or a performing group?
5. What is reasonable in our situation?
There may be times when your unique situation will dictate the custody schedule to use. For example if you are living in different states, past abuse, courts determined the custody schedule, etc. You will need to figure out how to help your child adapt to the custody schedule given. Think about the questions above and how you can support your child.
Erica Larsen is a writer for Custody X Change. Custody X Change is a software designed to make creating a custody schedule easier.
Research the different custody schedule examples and 50/50 custody schedules.
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