The question always arises as to the conditions in which it is Biblically permissible to divorce. Even among Christians, opinions run the gamut. Scripture is hardly used, partly used or completely taken out of context to all to satisfy opinion. It's safe to say, human beings can justify just about everything--just give us a few minutes!
With so many opinions floating around what can the Christian contemplating divorce rely on? I find 3 scenarios in which one might thinking about divorce might locate him or her self and find a godly solution.
Jesus reminds us of the power of forgiveness in overcoming offense. When that offense is adultery and forgiveness is in short supply divorce can occur, according to Matthew 19:8, and 9.
He (Jesus) said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.
In I Corinthians 7:10 and 11, Jesus acknowledges the power of choice, notwithstanding God's command that husbands and wives remain married.
Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. (NKJV)
And finally we see the power of forgiveness contrasted with the power of choice. Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:12 and 13,
But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband, who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
And in Verse 15 Paul discusses the flip side:
But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
In Verse 15, we are offered a scenario when Verses 12 and 13 don't work! So let's take a minute to understand these verses. First of all, Paul is addressing the same group of people, addressed in Verses 10 and 11-married people. Therefore, when we read in Verse 12, "But to the rest I say" we should understand that Paul is not addressing a new group of people. Rather, he is speaking to a myriad of other marriage situations that may arise.
Despite what arises in marriage, Paul advises the Christian spouse to respect the decision of the unbelieving husband or wife, whether it is to go or remain. However, the Christian should be careful to inspire adherence to God's will in all. One of the ways this occurs is when we allow an unbelieving spouse to reside with us. This is forgiveness. It is the essence of the cross.
The cross permits God to legally work in the heart of the unbelieving husband or wife. Through the cross of Jesus Christ, God can exchange ill standing for right standing with Him and a believing spouse. As a matter of fact, the cross is so effective in facilitating change that Jesus was not ashamed to identify with us. Isaiah 53:12 says that Jesus counted Himself one of us! Hebrews 2:11 records it this way:
For both He Who sanctifies [making men holy] and those who are sanctified all have one [Father]. For this reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren;
Jesus was willing to endure pain and humiliation to enable God to restore us. (Hebrews 12:2)! God's greatest opportunity to change our spouse occurs when we, like Jesus are willing remain married.
Now I can only imagine the hurt and humiliation for some that would dare remain in residence with an unbelieving spouse. And for this, we have the Lord to thank for I Corinthians 10 and 11. Remaining is a personal choice! When at all possible, it is to everyone's advantage that the Christian remain with an unbelieving spouse. I Corinthians 7:14 reads,
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
When this occurs the unbelieving spouse is cleansed. But also, their children are cleansed! Verse 16 reads,
For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O' husband, whether you will save your wife?
To the moaning believer, perhaps best of all is the benefit of a deepening knowledge of God. Paul encourages us in this manner:
that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, (Philippians 3:10).
Sometimes the best and most sincere efforts of the Christian are rejected. Instead, the unbelieving spouse chooses divorce. Paul advises the Christian to respect his or her decision. This does not imply agreement. Rather, it is love honoring the free will of another.
In accepting the decision of an unbelieving spouse to divorce, Paul writes these words of comfort to the Christian,
But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace (I Corinthians 7:15).
Marriage is what God does. Divorce is what people do in response. Still we see the supreme unconditional love of God shining even in respecting man's free will.
In conclusion then, the Lord commands that husbands and wives remain married. I advocate God's will as being in our best interest. Every Christian should desire to honor God's will in marriage. I do. But also, we must respect a spouse's decision to do otherwise. Herein, I find love.
To learn more about Kim Moore visit: http://www.kimmooreandfriends.com/
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