So you think your marriage is on the rocks, and the only future you can see ahead of you is divorce. Have you examined the reasons why you believe a divorce is the answer? After all, this is the person you adored so much when you were first married, and he or she is really the same person down inside. True, they've grown and changed, as you yourself have, but they're still the person you were in love with not so very long ago. Maybe if you stopped and looked at the main reasons people give for wanting a divorce, you'll find both the root of your own problems and a possible solution that involves staying together. Read on to find out.
Reason #1 - You might feel like you married for the wrong reasons or else you never intended for your marriage to last a lifetime. Although people spent hundreds of years valuing the institution of marriage, this often isn't the case any longer. All you have to do is watch TV for a while to find a celebrity in a non-traditional relationship in which one or more babies were born to the relationship without the benefit of prior nuptials. Marriage is no longer revered by the younger generation, and obviously, if you don't value it, it isn't worth keeping when the going gets tough.
Reason #2 - You may have married too quickly, before the two of you really got a chance to know each other well. You could have succumbed to lust instead of waiting for real love. Since that time you've undoubtedly found out things about your spouse that have made you question why you married them in the first place. The answer is to make an effort to get to know the person you married much better and look for the points about him or her that you can learn to love and admire.
Reason #3 - You've found yourself in less than comfortable circumstances financially. It's possible that when you married neither of you had any clear idea of how you were going to make enough money to pay the bills. You were in love and eager to think that this bond would sustain your union. Now you've learned that it's not going to happen unless something changes, and it's up to you to try. Some options are to take classes to learn a new trade, look for a better job, or see a financial counselor to get help with managing the money you do have.
Reason #4 - You might have developed a distrust in your spouse, either for a legitimate reason or because you perceive that he or she isn't attracted to you any longer. Communication is one of the keys here. Keep closely in touch and remember that if you think loving thoughts about your spouse, say them. Make an effort to always be honest. If you made a mistake, own up to it instead of trying to cover it up. Together you can work it out.
Although these are just examples of reasons why marriages fail, you'll see that whatever your problems are, there's always choices other than divorce. Take the time to look for them, and you'll discover that you can make your marriage work after all.
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