You are feeling lonely after your divorce. You seem to see couples everywhere, magazines, films, coffee shops! You are not sure where to turn next. Divorce knocks your confidence, in some ways you have to learn how to socialise all over again.
How can I help?
Well, I've been there and I know how hard it is to get out and get some company.
You feel lonely around the house because, at this stage, even bad company seems to better than no company.
Here's one tip to try. You'll need to enlist the help of a good friend or maybe a sister or brother.
Ask them to be your loneliness accountability partner.
Here's how it works.
You are allowed to call them once each day or less. You may complain about feeling lonely. Their part of the bargain is to give you 30 minutes max and in that time you will both discuss what you have done today to improve your situation.
Yeh, I know it's tough, but there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. And, interestingly, learning how to be happy alone is part of dealing with loneliness.
We all get lonely from time to time, we are by nature social creatures, yet we all benefit from some time alone, so, what is the difference?
When you are alone and being productive or taking care of yourself you won't feel lonely. E.g. walking, cleaning, reading, gardening, doing puzzles, waxing your legs, meditating, fixing / washing the car, make up your won list.....
You will feel lonely if you sit around wishing there was someone else there and feeling sorry for yourself. That is allowed some of the time, it's a problem when you allow yourself to do it most of the time.
Okay, so you live by yourself now, you go to work each day and you come home to an empty house every night. Make yourself a weekly schedule of evening activities, and end each evening with a treat for yourself, a bath, one of your fav films, a good book and a night cap. Include at least 2 nights where you go out of the house to do something, e.g. go to the gym, walk in a busy area - you are more likely to meet people, if you don't like walking alone offer to walk a friends dog!
Do the same for the weekend. Plan ahead, start the day with a leisurely breakfast, stroll or drive into to town, do your shopping, meet a friend for coffee, go to the library. Invite your family for dinner, take part in any fund raising events in your area, become a volunteer, take up landscape painting or photography - think about it seriously, what things have you always longed or wished you had time to do - now is your chance.
You have probably guessed by now that I'm a big fan of being proactive! If you choose to sit in your armchair and wait for life to come knocking on your door you'll wait a long time. Life is what you make it - get busy!
You are wrong - I do care, and it wasn't always easy getting my life back on track, but I sure wasn't going to pass it sitting on the sidelines!
Thanks for your visit, let me know how you are getting on.
Hello, I'm Mary Moir, most of my career has been about people just like you. Wives, husbands, families.
What I've learned is that you need to feel good about yourself to have a good relationship and be a successful parent.
collect your book now, http://www.yemanyacoaching.com/ebooks/get-your-life-back-on-track-after-divorce/
Put the life back in your living!
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