We have often heard about ways in which women handle emotional difficulties especially through the phrase of a divorce. This guide serves as a means for you to understand your emotional roller-coaster that you are facing to equip you with the upcoming challenges that may arise. As you read through, do take note of the feelings that may hinder from making you live as how you used to. Here are some tips to help through your journey:
(1) Realise that the incident has occurred. It is important for you to realise the state that you are in, to prepare yourself mentally for the future. Denials often come as a set- back as it hinders you from progressing normally for your day-to-day life.
(2) Think of your own survival. Make a difference, move house as soon as possible. Change the way you live. You may need a lot of time to do this but as soon as you have a grasp of it, you will be able to do fine.
(3) Understand your situation. You must be able to understand that your situation is normal and that it is normal for you to feel the way you feel. Every person who goes through a divorce will feel betrayed, hurt and you may even question yourself: "Where did I ever go wrong?" You must understand that divorce is quite common - you're not alone nor going through anything that a lot of other people haven't experienced
(4) Prepare yourself mentally. You may find it difficult to fall asleep at night and at times, you would constantly remind yourself of your relationship and what you could have done to make it better. These thoughts are normal but it would not bring back your marriage. You must accept that your marriage is over and fill up your time with activities. Yes, you would still be reminded of your situation even though you are busy, but it would help in subsiding the pain that you are undergoing.
A few things you might think about doing:
Write everything down. From the way you feel, to expressing your anger, journal your thoughts when you are free. Every time if you have the urge to be summoned by your past, record the feelings down. Explain in details the start of your relationship to the end of it. Describe events that made you happy and angry. Let her know how it truly hurts you. It is necessary for you to vent out your anger so that you would feel better.
Set goals for you to allow yourself to be working on it no matter how hard the circumstances are. Pick yourself up and ensure that you do little things that would make yourself proud. It would boost your self- esteem.
Do something that makes you feel good. Most important - don't be afraid of making mistakes along the way. Rebuilding your life may take trials and errors. Go for activities and social gathering when you feel better after your grief. Give yourself a chance to be free from the worries that you may have. It'll be hard, but the sooner you start dating, the easier it'll be for you to regain your emotional well-being. At first, even though you have to force yourself, you should just go out and associate with other people.
Eliminate boredom and loneliness from your life. You must first understand that both of these problems are self-induced. That is, if you are bored or lonely, it's because you are allowing yourself to be. Boredom is generally a form of emotional anaesthesia brought about by the person who is bored, because he doesn't want to experience his own feelings.
Get involved in something. This is the best time for you to revamp everything in your life. From your messy wardrobe to all those piling letters that you have not sorted out, take this time to delegate important tasks, to organise your workspace and also to organise everything that may not have been the way it should be. Offer a visit to your cousin's house, do some painting, or even drive around to explore places, there are many possibilities that awaits you! Before long, you would realise that life offers a much meaningful experience. Loneliness is basically a different form of boredom. A person feels lonely when they can't think of anything they want to do, and thus, they begin feeling sorry for themselves because no one cares about them. In order not to be lonely, you have to start thinking of things you might enjoy doing with other people, and then invite other people to join you in doing those kinds of things.
I hope that these tips has helped you in understanding the inflicting pain that you are in now and we hope that you would allow yourself enough time for the healing process to be completed. Only you can change who you want to be. You have the decisive force to make things happen. Everything is up to you, if you want a fruitful and enriching life, start taking actions now.
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