The dissolution of my marriage hit me like a train. At some level, I knew that this could happen but when it came the crash, my world just disintegrated. In a Flash, I was no longer a husband, I have hard to be a father and confidence, established over twenty years, was completely broken. We were a wreck and I boat broke.
Nevertheless, it took us a few years to finally separate and obtain a divorce. Throughout in the course of this period, I have continued with my treatment, where I have considered mainly with my agitation inland and the chaos of my relationship. I have received many constructive messages of my therapists and others. Three key messages has paved the way for my recovery possible transition: 1) "Let go of everything"; (2) "You are the wild horse, value yourself"; (3) "Use this crisis to turn of your life."
1) Letting go. Initially, my reaction was to hold on, desperately, to my wife, my family and my world. Suddenly my wife appeared more attractive than ever and my family links considered vital. Restore what was, what had seemed possible tantalizingly - family found happiness. However, the indisputable evidence was look me in the face: it didn't work. Somehow, I had to give up the old to make room for the new. This meant: "Let go of everything": the past, my expectations, what constitutes a family, my identity as a husband, etc.. As I began to let go, I could see that a new life, a new start beckoned.
2) Horse wild. I've been electrified by a woman, I've admired telling me, "you are the wild horse". This powerful image of internalizing helped move me from feeling sexually inadequate, powerless and sensational browbeaten attractive, strong and daring. Feeling that I was the wild horse boosted my confidence enormously, and when I began to explore other relationships, I felt liberated.
3) Using the crisis. It was clear to me that I was in crisis. When I needed to convince was that I could turn to the crisis to my advantage, see the disaster as an opportunity. What he finally won for me was the realization that something was better connected to emerge from the wreckage. This also required work for my part I need to ask some demons to rest, especially that which says: "It is not happening to you", to be replaced by, "you are the main player, put you scene." Fundamentally, it meant also release my emotional armor and allowing me to feel, to act according to my heart, not my head.
These messages induced by me more authentic and more in touch with my true self. With time, I came to see my marital crisis as a blessing in disguise; a bridge (over the murky waters) to a new life. You should be able to make these three messages work for you, I have, but you will need to adapt to your personality and your situation.
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