It's never easy for married couples to go through separation or divorce. Whether it's the first time or not, the process can be difficult for both the husband and wife. There are many things to think about including your children's well-being.
When children are involved, the parents need to do the best they can in order to protect them from stress or any emotional turmoil. The kids can be most affected by the separation particularly if they're close to both the mother and father. It's at this point then that they have to be assured of your continued love and support despite what you and your partner are going through.
It's important that parents not show to their children any fights that they may have. If possible to go through your separation or divorce in a discreet manner, the better so you can spare the kids from any emotional stress. You have to understand that it can be hard for children to accept and understand initially the decision of their parents to quit their marriage.
But you can definitely help your kids maintain a happy and positive disposition by taking some simple steps. The first thing you can do is to help them understand that from now on, they will be living with only one parent because of your decision to separate from each other. It would be better if both you and your partner sit down and discuss this issue with them.
Expect some stress on the part of your children when you reveal your decision. However, you can assure them that you will continue to help and support them through the difficulties they may encounter. Let them know that you will always love and care for them and that you're not leaving them. Keep in mind to inform them of your decision in a frank yet loving way. It's better to be honest to your children than keeping your issues from them and regretting later when they find out about your decision from other people.
Also, try to trust your ex-spouse to be a good parent to your children when they are with him or her. Let your children be in their natural self when with the other parent and avoid telling them what to do. Avoid making negative comments as well with regards to your ex-partner in front of your children. You will only cause them to rebel against the other parent. Your ultimate goal should be to let your children maintain a good relationship with both parents even if you no longer live together.
Your cooperation as a couple is likewise critical. When kids see their parents still on friendly terms and are striving to become the best parents on their own, they will be able to maintain emotional stability moving forward. If this happens, it would not be hard for them anymore to develop a happy disposition in life despite the fact that their parents are divorced.
It's still possible to have happy and healthy children even when you and your spouse have decided to separate. It takes committed and loving parents to do that.
For information on marriage and family counseling, please visit The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory, one of the top directories for therapists in the US and Canada.
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