Was the Right Decision For Me to Divorce Him?

Simply put, there will be days where divorced life sucks!

You may feel overwhelmed with all the additional responsibilities that used to be split between you and your Ex. You may be feeling lonely, even sad, at times. You also may be feeling strapped for cash.

These are times when you may start wondering 'Did I make the right decision divorcing him?'

It is natural to wish for the "good ole days" when your "new days" are uncomfortable and complicated; but the reality is that you need to continue moving forward with your new life.

You need to remember that you didn't end up in front of a judge because your marriage was happy, joyous and free. It is easy to blur, or minimize, the bad memories of why you divorced while you are overwhelmed with your new life.

The day the divorce papers were signed my Ex was driving across state lines before the ink was even dry, to begin his new life. I was blessed to receive full custody of our 4-year-old daughter; but I had no family living within 1,000 miles of us. Working full-time in a job that requires travel, with no family support is a major challenge!

Were there days when I wished I didn't have to deal with juggling single motherhood and a professional career... you bet! Did I ever wish that I was still married so that I didn't have to deal with situations like trying to find a friend to watch my daughter for a few days while I went on a business trip...Not even once!

The reason why I never wished I had my old life back is because I was committed to moving myself, and my daughter, forward into a better, happier life. Here are a few things that I did to help keep me focused on my better, happier life that waiting for me, that I would like to share with you.
Make a list of 20-25 items for which you are grateful for in your new life. Keep this in your wallet and anytime you're feeling emotional or overwhelmed, pull it out and slowly read it aloud. It will brighten your day and remind you that you are blessed in your new life.Exercise is one of the best strategies for changing negative energy into positive energy. The most effective is aerobic exercise; but a good weight based work-out does have a way of getting the stress kinks out of your neck. Any exercise will lift your spirits, and redirect your thoughts. You should incorporate regular exercise into your life.
A Night of pampering. Draw yourself a nice bubble bath with candles and soft music. Give yourself a manicure, pedicure or a facial. Do something special for YOU, and only YOU. You are worthy of pampering; so treat yourself accordingly.
Journaling is a good way to get your thoughts out on paper. I often find that getting things out of my head is beneficial to allowing new thoughts to enter. It also gives you a more productive form of working through what you're feeling.

Above all else TRUST in Yourself that the decision you made to move into a better, and happier life is what you're intended to live.

Comment below on if you ever wished you were still married.

About the Author

Debbi Dickinson coaches divorced women to move past their divorce and create a new life for themselves mixing spiritual strategy with time tested proven tools. Debbi invites you to take advantage a Free 5-Day Video Guide that outlines some of these tools. http://www.steppingintojoy.com/

Original article

Divorce - Is It the Right or Wrong Choice for You?

Yep, it is a really big step...divorce, and it is rarely an easy or simple decision. The end of your marriage marks the end of a big period of your life, and the beginning of a new, hopefully happier and more satisfying one for you. Wow, that is a lot of steps, and a lot of changes. No wonder it can be scary to even think about. But think about it you must; it is too important not to.

So how are you going to tell if divorce is the right, or best, choice for you right now? Good question. Just the fact that you are here, reading this article, probably means that you have been thinking about divorce. Maybe for quite some time. Should you go ahead with it? Or not?

Most marriages have their ups and downs, and problems and stresses. No surprise there. The central question is, Do you WANT to try and fix it? It probably can be repaired, with some effort on the part of both you and your spouse. Let us put the question another, more useful way: Do you still love your spouse?

If you do, it might be worthwhile for you to make another attempt to save the situation. That way, later on if you get divorced anyway, you will be able to say that you did your best, and your conscience will be clear.

Here are 4 reasons marriages can hit the rocks and shatter, in no particular order of importance:

1. The Big One... Cheating

This is often thought of as the big, major issue; it can indeed lead straight to divorce, and rather quickly at that. If your mate was unfaithful, it is for you to decide if you can truly forgive them and renew your marriage. Really forgiving your spouse means forgetting about it and putting it behind you. Really really behind you. And not throwing it in your partner's face later on, during a heated argument. Can you do that?

If you were the cheating heart, be honest now. Was it just a mistake, a case of raging hormones? If you still want to save your marriage, then tell (and show!) your spouse that you still love him or her, and promise it will never happen again. On the other hand, if you cheated because you lost interest in your spouse (see Point 4 below) or because something was missing from your marriage, then a divorce is probably best for both of you.

2. Abuse

An abusive relationship will destroy you from the inside out, and make a big hole in your soul. It should not be tolerated for long at all, and I am including physical and emotional abuse here. Try to work things out with your mate, and make changes soon. Go see a counselor, alone if you have to.

3. Addictions

An addiction to alcohol, gambling, drugs, etc. can also ruin a marriage in short order. Perhaps the most corrosive aspect of an addiction is that the other, non-addicted spouse may sense that the addict loves his alcohol, drugs, etc. more than he loves her. So she will feel alone and betrayed.

The addicted spouse should get help quickly, and start treatment. He or she should make a commitment to try and change and turn their life around. If not, get out of the relationship before you are dragged down and destroyed as well. These people need professional help, which you cannot provide.

4. Indifference

Maybe your marriage just sort of petered out, for no particular reason other than you simply lost interest in each other. No more spark. The thrill is gone. Well, people change with the years and grow apart, especially in long-term marriages. Still, do not be too hasty to throw it all away because of this. Think carefully.

Evaluate what you have now, and your possible happiness with another, new mate. Your happiness and contentment is what is most important, of course. So take the time to weigh everything, and decide if a divorce at this stage of your life is best for you. Take your time, and do not let anyone rush you into a quick decision. It must be the right choice for you. After all, there is no going back.

Before charging right ahead with the divorce, please keep this in mind. Studies show that most marital problems can be fixed, so I am sure saving your marriage is indeed possible. All you need is a plan to follow. Watch this free video to learn more.

You do not have a plan? Well, I would hate to think you lost your chance for enduring love and happiness with your spouse because of that! Click here => http://www-FixingBreakups.com/ to get more help. You will find the little psychological tricks that have helped so many others, and will surely help you too.

Good luck to you, and good loving to both you and your mate!
Your friend, Jake Rancen

Original article