The Many Reasons for Divorce

There are many reasons why you may want to divorce your spouse. Marriages break down all the time. While only the people in those marriages know exactly what has happened in their specific circumstances, some reasons are more common than others.

One of the most obvious reasons for divorce is infidelity. The discovery that their spouse has been cheating can be cataclysmic for many people. Or, partners may know that their husband or wife is a serial cheater, but one day something happens that pushes their behavior over the line from being tolerable to being unacceptable. Infidelity is one of the most accepted reasons for divorce.

Other reasons for divorce include domestic violence. In some cases, one partner may have been violent or abusive towards the man or woman that they are married to. If your spouse falls into this category, then as well as seeking advice from a lawyer, you may also want to find support and counseling from one of the many groups that try to help people in the same position that you are in. If domestic violence has caused the breakdown of your marriage and a court is convinced that your ex-partner is a danger to you and any children, then this can greatly impact on access arrangements after the divorce.

Other reasons for divorce include inability to control addictions on the part of one partner. This can include a gambling addition, alcoholism, drug abuse and other similar vices. These addictions can be very long running, but cause the affected partner to run up debt in the family's name and act irrationally. Many spouses will be willing to give their partner help initially, but if the addict is unwilling to seek help or is otherwise unable to control their addiction, then eventually many spouses - and other family members, too- will cut ties to preserve their own finances, mental health and emotional wellbeing.

However, not all reasons for divorce relate to criminal or immoral behavior on the part of one partner. Sometimes, two people who were in love in their 20s may simply grow apart as the years go by. Interests can separate and a couple may find themselves spending less and less time together and more time with their friends, at work and on other interests. What can start off as a passionate relationship may simply run its course. Couples in these situations may decide to go their own separate ways more or less amicably, with a minimum of legal proceedings. Factors like these can be just as valid reasons for divorce as other darker and more dramatic discoveries and experiences.

There are many, many other valid reasons for divorce, including sexual incompatibility, insurmountable cultural differences and differing opinions and desires about the future. Ultimately, you and your partner can be the only judges of what are valid reasons for divorce - and if you do decide to divorce, then a solid plan of what to do next will help you cope with the transition.

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Ten Reasons Why Marriages End in Divorce

The statistics are shocking. Right now in the United States, over 50% of all marriages are ending in divorce. We can't help but wonder what happened to change marriage success rates so drastically over the past few decades. The truth is that people just aren't as willing to put up with situations that aren't making them happy. The secret to maintaining a marriage is to find out the reasons why the relationship isn't the satisfying experience it could be and fix them. Listed below are ten of the major reasons marriages fail:

1. When trust and understanding are no longer part of a marriage, it's headed for failure. Things like this occur when partners are too stubborn to try and see things from the perspective of their mates. Compromise is a necessary commodity.

2. Have you ever heard yourself accusing your spouse of having changed from the person you originally married? All of us grow and change throughout life based on our experiences. If you feel your spouse has changed, stop and consider why that has happened.

3. If you start thinking that being married to someone else would make you happier, you're asking for disaster. About 90% of marriages that end do so because one or both spouses have been unfaithful. In truth, most of themselves unable to be happy in any kind of relationship due to the fact that they aren't willing to make the commitment to live with both bad and good.

4. The Bible tells us that when we marry we are united into one body. This applies to our minds as well. If you start thinking about having things "your way" or "my way" instead of "our way", your marriage is headed for troubled waters.

5. If sex is boring or nonexistent, soon the marriage will be, too. People who have sexual relations prior to marriage often find themselves getting bored with their partner before too long. The concept of keeping yourself for marriage wasn't far off base. Otherwise, you'd better be prepared to do whatever it takes to keep your sexual interest alive.

6. Too many lies can destroy a marriage. People need to feel that they spouses are being honest with them. Distrust causes major rifts in many relationships.

7. Playing the fault game is also detrimental to harmony. If you spend more time trying to blame each other for your problems than you do in trying to work things out, there's nowhere to go but down.

8. One partner excluding the other from major parts of their life will end up killing the relationship. The other spouse will feel neglected and as if they aren't really a part of a union any longer. No matter how busy you are, you need to spend quality time with each other.

9. Feelings that their spouse is never there when they need him or her can lead to discord. If the two of you aren't each others' support system, then you need to start working on it.

10. Deciding that you're tired of dealing with all the problems in your marriage can be equated with throwing in the towel for good. Almost all problems can be worked out if you're willing to make the effort. Giving up will get you nowhere but divorced.

Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: Stop divorce or here: Save My Marriage.

Original article

5 Reasons to Ask For a Divorce - When Divorce Is the Best Option

It may seem at times that divorce is regarded as the easy option. We hear the statistics and may be forgiven for thinking that people decide to divorce on a whim, as soon as there are the first signs of trouble. The reality is often very different. Many people fight to save their marriages, for a whole variety of reasons. Children, family expectations, financial implications, fear of the unknown, all these reasons can play a significant factor in deciding whether or not to call it a day on a relationship.

Let's look at 5 reasons when divorce is the best option;

1. We're not the same people. A couple can grow apart and gradually find that they have both changed from when they first met. Some couples get together when they are both very young, go on to have a family and build a life together but then over time appreciate that they have grown apart, with interests, goals and dreams that neither share. Other couples may realise, only after they are married, that they never really knew each other. Sometimes these situations can be worked through with effort, love, patience and mutual respect. Other times it can be more healthy to acknowledge the situation, admit that the relationship is over and move on.

2. Nothing seems to fix our problems. Relationship counselling has been tried and made no difference to the situation. Counselling can take a variety of forms. Some people talk things through with family or friends, but that can be unsatisfactory as those people may have a bias, even if they are well-intentioned. Using professional relationship counselling can provide a neutral environment, away from the home, where time is allocated specifically for the purpose of understanding each others point of view and trying to re-establish communications.

3. We're starting to hate being near each other. Personal body space has grown to such an extent that they avoid being together. When a couple are intimate they often enjoy being physically close. Often they will touch either other affectionately, almost without realising. A hand on the other's arm or leg, a casual touch as they pass by are often automatic responses. But when a couple become estranged their desire to be close dissipates. They may eventually start to leave the room as the other enters. It may be done without them even noticing, such is the level of antipathy at being in each others company.

4. Sniping, bitching and bickering have become the norm. When a couple have become so unhappy in each others company that they cannot share a civil conversation then the time has come to ask how much more of their lives needs to be expended on such a destructive, unhappy relationship.

5. The children are starting to be affected. The welfare of children needs to be paramount. Children can be seriously affected by a negative atmosphere. Parents are often keen to keep the children safe from arguments and rows but it is almost impossible for children to avoid noticing a bad atmosphere and being aware of constant tension between parents. Often children wonder if they are somehow to blame. It can be healthier for children to live a calmer life with one parent. Handled with sensitivity, children can readjust and keep a close relationship with both parents, but in a happier and more positive way.

Many people dread the emotional turmoil and feeling of disappointment and failure that comes with divorce. Sometimes it is more courageous for all to admit that the relationship is not working and try to divorce with as much respect and dignity as possible. When that is achieved those couples may still be able to remain friendly with each other even if they realise that they cannot live together.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding, whatever the eventual outcome and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles are available.

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

Original article

Reasons For Divorce - Why Husbands and Wives End Their Marriages

Why do married couple end up separating? Are you worried that your own marriage might end up in divorce? Are you aware of the main reasons why partners separate after years of married life?

The proportion of marriages that end in divorce is on the increase. It is sad that couple go for the divorce option when they find things lacking in their marriage. They seem to have devalued the sanctity of marriage. What really are the main reasons for divorce? Here are some explanations for you to consider.

Having an addiction

One of the main reasons for divorce is an addiction, either to alcohol, substances, or gambling. These addictions make it likely that a marriage will end up in divorce. If you always knew your partner had an addiction but married them nonetheless, then you must be prepared for some significant consequences. Do not hold the belief that your partner will change once you get married, as this is very rarely the case.

Being unfaithful

A partner being unfaithful is one of the main reasons for divorce. This is most common of male partners. Although there are also women who are easily tempted into infidelity. Unfaithfulness is common in marriages. If a partner has an affair, it becomes very difficult to trust them again. Even if the affair ceases, if the trust is gone, then the marriage will likely be over.

Being abused

There are lots of reasons for divorce but abuse of a sexual or emotional nature is very difficult to get past. Counseling and rehabilitation would be needed for a long period of time. A marriage in which abuse has been a factor will very often end in divorce.

No commitment

If people get married while one or both of the partners is not ready for that level of commitment, then the marriage may fail. There a number of explanations why people enter marriage before they are ready for it. This can be because of a pregnancy that was a surprise, or the partners may be in love but have not thought properly about their future life together.

Immaturity

If one of the partners in a marriage is still immature, this may mean the marriage ends in divorce. You cannot control a person's lack of maturity. If someone is immature still, then they will be unable to properly process and understand issues.

These are the main five reasons for divorce. We can only prevent marriage ending in divorce if we learn how to compromise. You don't have to rush into marriage. Hold off for the correct time so everything will go well. If you are already in a marriage, be adult enough to meet your responsibilities as a marriage partner and perhaps also as a parent. You can't be selfish in a marriage.

To find out more about how to get male attention, click Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.

Janice Evans is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

Original article

The Top Reasons for Divorce - Why Most Couples End Their Marriage

What are the main reasons for divorce? Is there a common thread running through the reasons for divorce? Is there anything that can be done in order to avoid the main reasons for divorce?

Is your marriage on the rocks and you are afraid that you may be headed for divorce? While many couples face this decision every year, there are some main reasons for divorce. Keep reading for the most common reasons why couples choose to end their marriage and see if any of them match what you and your husband are currently facing.

Infidelity

The number one reason for divorce is one partner straying from the marriage. This can lead to a very real breakdown of trust and communication within the marriage. In fact, infidelity is listed as the reason for separation in more than one-third of the divorces in the United States. It really doesn't matter if a spouse has cheated once, twice or repeatedly strays. There are also several reasons for infidelity including resentment or sexual boredom.

Communication Breakdown

If couples are unable to communicate clearly with each other, this will eventually lead to a breakdown of a marriage which could result in divorce. This can happen when couples either avoid exchanges or cannot talk to each other without conflict. Communication is the cornerstone of any marriage and it must be there for the relationship to survive.

Abuse

This abuse can come in many forms including sexual, emotional, physical or psychological. Whenever one spouse is abusive to the other or to the children, then the other spouse needs to immediately file for divorce. Physical abuse can include fighting and hitting. Emotional abuse can include such things as verbal insults which lead to humiliation and intimidation.

Financial Issues

Another leading cause of divorce is money. When financial stress enters a marriage, it can cause a total breakdown. Almost every couple will have to deal with financial stress at one point or another, but it is how this stress is handled whether or not the marriage will come to an end. Many times the stress over finances is aggravated because the partners have a different way of handling this stress thanks to different temperaments and priorities. Couples can even have issues when there is no debt involved. This happens when couples disagree on the allocation of funds and can bring about an end to a relationship.

Boredom

These divorces are usually the least bitter of all because they don't involve money or another person. These divorces happen because the partners have simply grown apart over a number of years. They may grow disinterested and distant and no longer have as much in common as they once did. In fact, most couples begin to get a seven-year itch and while some relationships last much longer, that is not always the case. One way to avoid boredom creeping into your marriage is to make sure that you are very well matched and you do things together and try new things with each other.

To find out more about how to get male attention, click Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.

Janice Evans is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

Original article