In the past few decades, divorce rates have skyrocketed and the number of marriages that come to an unfortunate or disagreeable end seems more common than marriages that stand the test of time. Unfortunately, sometimes divorce really is the only option for some couples, but before you decide that terminating the marriage is the best choice for everyone involved, there are some alternatives and preventative measures that may help salvage the relationship.
Trial Separations: Sometimes, everyone needs a little bit of a break. With the added stress of work, financial issues, daily family needs, and other life situations, many people have little time to be alone and clear their thoughts.
A trial separation can be a breath of fresh air, and often getting away from daily stress and arguments can bring things into perspective. It gives you and your spouse a chance to have some much needed peace and quiet and a chance to think, prioritise, and consider the serious issues of the marriage without the pressures of having to be in the tense atmosphere itself.
Marriage Counselling and Mediation: While counselling or mediation seems like a common sense option, it's surprising how many couples refuse to seek professional advice or don't think of it at all during the midst of a marriage crises. Talking to a neutral third party can help you see the real points and reasons of why a marriage may be going sour.
A marriage counsellor can also help couples learn better ways to communicate with one another, help each partner admit faults while moving on from blame and guilt, and give advice that can save a marriage that might otherwise end in divorce.
Do Things Together Again: Sometimes, couples simply grow apart because they find themselves too busy to spend time together as they once did. It may lead to arguments, apathy or a distancing that seems impossible to bridge. With so many obligations at work or with children, finding time for each other can be a real marital hurdle that, unfortunately, often leads to divorce.
Setting time aside for each other and doing the things that brought your marriage together in the first place can help rekindle the relationship. It can also open up time for communication and solving family problems together that might be hard to breach during other, busier times.
When is Divorce the Only Option?: If you've tried these suggestions or other methods to bring your marriage together and still find the gap between you and your spouse too wide to bridge, it may be time to consider a divorce.
If any mental or physical abuse is involved, divorce is usually the best option, especially if the abusive spouse refuses to seek counselling or help. Realise, also, that staying in a bad or unhappy marriage can actually do more harm than good to children, who might adjust much better to a stable, happy single-parent home than a volatile and tense two parent home where mother and father argue constantly.
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